Frank-enstein
I felt the blade of the dagger come from outside, then
I realized. The blade cut my skin and I felt the air touch the wound, the blood
clotting over the abyss, I imagined. The dagger came out clean, as if it had
not cut anything, I always knew. I
didn't feel the flow of blood, nor the slippery nerves warning the brain in
despair. I was so calm that he had no choice, he stabbed me again. A tickle ran
down my arms, which were not mine. My legs fell asleep, and they were not mine
either. The chest received more wounds, again and again, it was not mine, like
the hand I used, it obeyed me without being mine, I pushed him away. I turned my back on him, even though it
wasn't mine. He attacked again. I stabbed the shoulder blades, the vertebrae
and everything I could reach. I didn't
feel pain. I hit him hard. He fell to the ground. He saw that there was no
bleeding. He saw that my wounds were becoming insignificant, I always knew
that. With a brain that wasn't mine. With an alien conscience. I could realize
that I was made of dead pieces. I am a
sack of rotten meat, cooked with a skein of things that don't belong to me, I
don't belong to me, I didn't become myself. That's why I looked into his eyes,
shining like a dagger. I could see the fear reflected on the surface, in the
shadow of his cornea, which was not mine either. I took his arm, clenched his
fist, wielding the dagger. I threatened him with his dagger, with his hand,
with his own arm that went down to his instincts and tried to counter my
strength. He was a monster like me, except that he would bleed, if he would feel
the blood fall to the edge of the abyss. He believes that what others have made
of him belongs to him. To me only belongs the decision to let him live, to let
him flee terrified and get lost in the world. I was always sure, I knew it.
Forever he will think that a badly cooked monster, brought from the dead, lives
to avenge himself for what he did. Until the day of his death he will be
haunted by the fear that I saw in his pupils today, waiting to see me in some
corner ready to kill him. After all, maybe I am a monster.
F. JaBieR
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