Wheel and wind

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I look at the ceiling fan of my house, I feel the air blowing in my panties, hitting me in the chest, caressing everything that has not been touched. What happens if the fan falls suddenly? I close my eyes. I am frightened by the fear of the fan falling or by the fear of having thought of it.  I keep feeling the turns it makes while it holds on to the ceiling like a hungry bat.  I hear that scream, the one that stuck to him a few months ago and I said I would fix it when I had money. Maybe it's a screw that loosens slowly while I sleep. What a fucking heat! Even if I split in two, I won't turn it off, the bed is hot, the sheets look like layers of skin that drown me like almost everything else in my life, all surrounded by unbearable heat. I don't even feel like making myself happy for a brief moment, my guts are ringing, I could go and eat inside the fridge, there's plenty of space. Alone with my heat, with the heat, with the heat that is intolerable, with the light bills accumulating, with life accumulating in the stinking corners....  And here under the fan... half-naked without being able to remedy the sound of the fan that drives me crazy.  If that fan falls, what do I have to lose?


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